Parents against bullying: what to do if a child is being bullied at school

© Fotolia / Monkey Wien elementary school gossiping on the PlaygroundParents against bullying: what to do if a child is being bullied at school© Fotolia / Monkey Wine Melnikov, columnist MIA «Russia today»

News of the cruelty of schoolchildren in relation to other already very few people surprise, you should be. Of the most recent horrible incident that occurred in the Perm region.

In a social network «Vkontakte» appeared the video, where a group of teenagers mocking the schoolgirl. The record shows, as they kick the girl set fire to her hair, foul language. She asks them to stop crying. Now this shocking video check police of the city of Berezniki.

This video, however, the Internet is full long ago, but often is limited to of outraged user comments, and only some of these stories end up in court.

Another test began in Moscow — and also because violent video featuring students. The Internet was placed the frames on which the students of the Center for the promotion of family education «Belief. Hope. Love» (children’s home No. 18) beat each other with a stick. Thus, according to the Moscow Department of labour and social protection, on the Playground, where there was a fight, there were three caregivers who did not respond to what is happening. The result is authorized under the RF President on the rights of the child Anna Kuznetsova was initiated to verify the children’s home.

«As for the inactivity, caregivers, teachers and any officers, whose duties include maintaining order in the school, their actions can be qualified under article 293 of the criminal code «Negligence», — said the Chairman of inter-regional arbitration court of Moscow and Moscow region Oleg Sukhov. — Usually the case under article №293 is initiated after initiation of proceedings about the abuse of the child.»

According to the lawyer, the parents of the victims can contact the police in the case, when there is video evidence, and, when they are not. However, it is worth considering that if a child’s body has some damage, you should first contact the medical organization to fix them.

«If traces of violence there, and the child is silent, then make a criminal case will be difficult, — says Oleg Sukhov. — Then it is best to consult a child psychologist, he will then be able to confirm a child’s complaints of violence.»

In case of causing any harm is to write a statement to the police — the more of these statements, the more likely that action will be taken.

Of course, the story of cruel bullying and recording the beating on video still are much less than the usual bullying scenario: probably, in each class over the 11 years of study are children and adolescents, offend the weak or hamyang teachers.

Harassment may be generally implicit, almost invisible: ignoring a classmate, failure to communicate with him — also aggressive and abusive behavior that can hurt and offend not less quarrels and fights.

After learning that the child being bullied or that he was, for example, declare a silent boycott, parents are immediately involved in the solution of this problem — the sooner, the better. And it is not necessary to justify their inaction with a reluctance to go to a potential scandal: after all, who if not the parents in the first place should be interested in protecting their children?

How to act parents
Alexander, my husband tried to help his son, discussed with him his problem, sought help from teachers and psychologists, but as a result had to change schools, and not just one.
«Teachers, school management it is very important to be able to reach parents of offenders. Most often absolutely notorious hooligans — after all from dysfunctional families, — said Konstantin Alder, who for many years was a psychologist-a psychiatrist at the Moscow school for children with deviant behavior. — The police have PD (unit for juveniles), and the district councils — KDN (Commission on minors), there can handle school, they can contact the parents of victims of bullying, if all the measures of pedagogical and administrative influence in the school already used. After that, the bully is put on the account, and later you can open a criminal case, may be issued fines to his parents».

However, according to the psychologist, it is necessary to understand that there are children, who because of the peculiarities of the psyche out of control. In this case, is simply the influence of his parents and the treatment in the CLN will not solve the problem: you need to turn to mental health professionals.

«Before, in almost every district of Moscow was a special school for adolescents with deviant (socially dangerous) behavior. As far as I know, most of them are now closed, — said Konstantin Alder. In these schools many students have adapted and worked with them experienced teachers».

What should teachers
«From a psychological point of view we can say that in Russia, unfortunately, is a widespread culture of violence, — the psychologist, the owner of an international consulting company Olga Yurkovskaya. — Aggression is one way of self-affirmation. To approach the bully can only be experienced teacher who will offer the student another way to assert themselves. You must find some occupation that would enable the teenager to feel significant».

Most often, according to Olga Jurkowski, troubled children live in dysfunctional families, where they are confronted with violence, or in families where they have too much pressure.

«Such children are usually affected by a hard impact from the adult. For this you can ask to speak with the child, for example, a friend of the police», — said Yurkovskaya.

Parents against bullying: what to do if a child is being bullied at school© Fotolia / Andras_CsontosФабрика slaves: what to do if your child humiliated in screentesting, adolescents, for whom aggression has become the norm (and in the family, and social networks, and, for example, in the movie), to explain, to offend and insult classmates is unacceptable is extremely difficult, but possible.

«We need to understand clearly that the conflict is «teacher-student» is certainly not equal. Because on the one hand we mean the child who has no manners, and on the other side of the conflict — people with higher pedagogical education, which is generally age psychology and pedagogics had to study, — says the psychologist-psychiatrist Konstantin Alder. — If he does not have pedagogical resource, it may apply for start assistance to the head teacher, colleagues (same meeting), the Director and only then in KDN or the police.»

If the teacher remembers that it is bad-mannered child with a different life experience, he immediately becomes much easier to deal with such a student — says the psychologist. But as soon as the teacher is offended — he lost automatically.

«Measures should be taken, — said Konstantin Alder. Remember for example that Anton Semenovich Makarenko, a brilliant teacher, worked with a completely frostbitten, I’m sorry, children, but wanted and knew how to build a relationship with them. It should read, how did he do it».